Southern Sun and Sad Days (open)

[Grath]

“NO.”

The brigadier glowered. “Yes! Ye can’t flippin’ stop me, Rosie!”

The hare he was addressing, a dark furred female, turned her own green eyes furiously on the male in front of her. “Absolutely not, Aidan Starpaw de Ffemrelle Wavebob! Ye’ve only jest woken up! A blood loss like that one an’ ye should stay in bed for days!”

Aidan set his chin, crossing his arms and opening his mouth to speak. Or at least, he tried. The movement of his right arm pulled at the lines of stitching tracing up his arm. His body decided it couldn’t take the strain, and shut down. (It may also have been helped by the sedative Roseleaf had laced into his soup broth.)

---

It was late afternoon the next day when Aidan stumped outside. He leaned on a cane—for in midst of battle he hadn’t really noticed the sword slice to his leg—but he walked alone. Roseleaf was off someplace, tending to some other beast; the Brigadier had the impression she believed he’d still be out.

He walked to the new graves placed in the warm sun by the south wall—so many. So many of them young, too many young and old lives lost. He limped between the scant rows for the patrol, touching each gravestone quietly. He knelt, then sat, before the small cemetery. He knew not how long it had been since the battle, though he knew he’d slept a lot, sometimes aided by Roseleaf.

How could he continue on, knowing the hares that followed his leadership died? It was not a new question to the old hare, but it was one he had to answer anew every time.

[[Its about 4 days after the battle]]

[Elicia]

Lady Ryn had seen her share of fighting in the world, and she sighed. Perhaps it was better that she was getting older now. Soon enough, a new Badger Lord would take over at Salamandastron and she could relax at last. She had done her duty to her hares, and they to her. Many had given their lives on her order, and that was something that no one, no matter what, could forget.

She hadn't been wounded too badly in the fight- just scratches. Her right arm, however, was for the moment useless. An arrow had struck her there, but Ryn paid it little mind. Others had fared worse than she. Her officers were in grave condition. What was it about those higher in rank that made them want to be more courageous, more daring in battle? Eli had been wounded, though not badly, and Aidan- she sighed again.

Ryn wanted to visit the graves. She felt that it was her duty to her patrol to pay her respects- but apparently, someone else felt the same way. It was Aidan, sitting among the graves. Ryn did not want to disturb him, but he looked alone and tired.

"Aidan," Ryn said softly, coming up behind the brigadier. "There are so many. Too many." The small badger surveyed the graves, and then looked down to study her friend.

"What are you thinking?" She asked. "You don't have to tell me, but four days- that's not a lot of time since the battle."

Though the hare was sitting, Ryn remained standing, staring at the graves. She had commanded those hares to fight, and because of that, they had died. So many had seen too few seasons in the Patrol. Some had seen their share of war, just as she had. I hope you have found peace, my old friends. We went through a lot together- all of us did. Ryn bit her lip. I should have been there to protect you.

[Grath]

{[Hehe, Aidan, Eli, Saki… bad officers getting injured! Its cause we don’t have many non-officer hares!]}

"Aidan," Ryn said softly, coming up behind the brigadier. "There are so many. Too many."

Aidan, lost in his own internal wanderings, was startled when a voice spoke above him. Looking to the side, he saw it was the Badgerlady. “Hello marm… ye’ll forgive me iffen I don’t stand?” He saluted, then returned his gaze to the crosses marking the graves.

"What are you thinking?" She asked. "You don't have to tell me, but four days- that's not a lot of time since the battle."

The officer looked up at his badgerlady. He studied her face for a moment, one didn’t need to be adept at reading faces to know that she too, was here to honor the dead. After a while he spoke.

“Has it been four days, ’Ryn?” His fingers automatically reached to touch a dagger, but none came to paw. He supposed Roseleaf must have removed them all. “Too many dead, marm, and I--” he paused a short moment. “I’m getting old.”

[Elicia]

Ryn smiled sadly as Aidan looked up at her. She could imagine that he felt the same as she did- that others had died, others who had many seasons left to them, and she had lived. Ryn could feel the weight of all her years on her and, for the first time in a long while, she felt very old and very tired. And very sad. She always was horrified at how many lives were lost after a battle, but this time it was different. Ryn closed her eyes and bowed her head in respect.

"It's been four days, Aidan. I've hardly seen a beast who was not wounded, and I've hardly a healthy officer left in my regiment." She tried to laugh, but could not bring herself to. Something about standing next to the brigadier among all of those graves wouldn't let her. It would be disrespectful to be happy here, at least for the time being. At some point, people would run around the graves and laugh; they would sing; they would be merry. That was what those beasts had died for. But that would only be when these graves were so old that they were forgotten: Ryn had the feeling that every Redwaller would be taught to respect these graves and the brave creatures that had died.

Ryn looked up at the sky. There were no clouds, just clear blue sky as far as the eye could see. She could feel the warm sun on her face and fur, and Ryn let herself be covered in it for just a moment. The day was sweet and warm, and for a second Ryn enjoyed the feeling. She pulled herself away from the sky and looked back to the ground stiffly.

"We're all getting old, Aidan my old friend. Sometimes I find myself wanting to just forget my duties and enjoy life for the rest of my years. But," Ryn straightened. "I am not that old, and until another Badger Lord comes to Salamandastron, I cannot forget my duty to the Patrol and to my mountain. Still, sometimes I am tired of being Silverclaw. Sometimes I am tired of having a weapon in my name, even if it what I am known for. Sometimes I wish that I had not had the misfortune to lead in such times as we have just witnessed. Too much blood has been lost, too many lives lost, and so many of my years were spent leading up to it!"

Ryn stared at the claws on her left paw, as she could not move her right, then up at the sky again. "Is that all we do, Aidan? Spend years to prepare for war? For bloodshed? And then when there is peace, what are we- we who have always been ready for war- what are we to do?" She shook her head. "I need a break from all of this." Then, almost to herself, Ryn asked:

"When will another Badger Lord come to Salamandastron?"

[Treble Tiderunner]

"It's been four days, Aidan. I've hardly seen a beast who was not wounded, and I've hardly a healthy officer left in my regiment."

The afternoon light was strong on Aidan’s face, he too lifted it to the southwestering sun. His eyes were closed as his silver-streaked dark fur absorbed the heat. He could feel it in his bones, bones that he knew were getting old, joints that were brittle and tired.

“I’m sorry marm…” He trailed off, not specifying what he was sorry for. How could he, when he knew not himself?

"We're all getting old, Aidan my old friend. Sometimes I find myself wanting to just forget my duties and enjoy life for the rest of my years. But," Ryn straightened. "I am […] were spent leading up to it!"

"Is that all we do, Aidan? Spend years to prepare for war? For bloodshed? And then when there is peace, what are we- we who have always been ready for war- what are we to do?" She shook her head. "I need a break from all of this."

“It seems that way, doesn’t it, marm?” Aidan said, shaking his head sadly. He caressed the ground he sat on softly, speaking after a little bit of silence. “We prepare for war and we fight and we die and we survive… all in the hopes of a better future, all in the hopes that our children and their children will learn from the past and build that better future…” He plucked a blade of grass, twisting it as he continued, “but perhaps they need a little guidance, some help from us, wot?”

"When will another Badger Lord come to Salamandastron?"

Plucking more grass, he answered, “I don’t know, marm. I’m as tired as you--more so, perhaps. Someday soon I will be too slow, and I will join my pupils and peers here or at Salamandastron--wherever I fall.”

[Elicia]

Ryn sighed, and looked down fondly at the hare. "Aidan, who says that you must fall anywhere? I have fought all these years in the hopes that I will be able to rest- not fall somewhere in battle. What we do and who we choose to be- those are our choices, as are how we pass from this world. I want to rest."

She turned back to glance at the abbey. "I have a feeling that many of our older hares will want that to be their last battle. I won't say anything, because I too want it to be the last battle I must fight. But, unlike them, I have no choice." It was hard to make herself realize, but Ryn knew that she was bound by her duty to Salamandastron.

"Do you ever wish that you lived in a different time? A time of peace and quiet, when you were not called upon to send your friends out in harm's way?" I've tried so hard to be a good Badger Lady.

All my life, that's been my aim. But now that I'm older- now that the promise of glory no longer enchants me as it once did- I don't know that I want my name to be one of those remembered through time. I want to rest in peace, here at Redwall. It was beautiful, and Ryn knew that the Abbey was where she wanted to die.

But she was too young for that kind of talk. She had many seasons left to her, and many seasons of service left to do. She had no right to be thinking of rest when her regiment was injured and many of them had fallen. She owed it to them to give them every effort up until the moment that a new badger lord came to Salamandastron, or until the time she died.

Ryn found herself regretting the fact that she had never found anyone with whom she had fallen in love. If she had had a child, then things might have been different. Leadership could be passed down to them just like her father, the Lord Axe and her mother, the Lady Tearn, had passed it down to her.

Sometimes, like now, it was hard for Ryn to remember a happy time. Every death added new weight to her heart, and Ryn could remember every time her orders sent hares to their deaths. She had failed them- failed to protect them. That was all she had ever wanted: to be a strong badger lady who could protect her hares and take them to victory.

Too many had died.

[Grath]

"Aidan, who says that you must fall anywhere? I have fought all these years in the hopes that I will be able to rest- not fall somewhere in battle. What we do and who we choose to be- those are our choices, as are how we pass from this world. I want to rest."

Aidan shook his head. “Marm, I will never rest, until I can fight no more. There is no true rest for an old warrior like me, but I can’t say I regret any of it.” His paws returned to his lap, where they rested, calm and empty.

She turned back to glance at the abbey. "I have a feeling that many of our older hares will want that to be their last battle. I won't say anything, because I too want it to be the last battle I must fight. But, unlike them, I have no choice.”

Aidan said nothing, merely inclining his head slightly. She had been fighting nearly as long as he, but badgers usually lived longer than other creatures, she was still relatively in her prime. He couldn’t help but feel though, that his badgerlady wasn’t cut out to be a badgerlady all her days, leading the Long Patrol. “If ye could settle here, marm… be a beast of peace… would ye?”

"Do you ever wish that you lived in a different time? A time of peace and quiet, when you were not called upon to send your friends out in harm's way?"

The venerable hare shook his head. “Nay marm. I would have seeked out the conflict that needed me, no matter wot the circumstances at Salamandastron. I have too much the warrior’s blood. My father always said, ‘better the old age of an eagle than the youth of a sparrow.’”

“But too many have died.” He murmured, so quietly it might have been missed. He reached for the cane he’d been forced to use and struggled to stand. No matter the melancholy. He must stand, he must go on. It was the only way he knew, the way he could honor the fallen and the way he could keep himself whole.

His thoughts turned to Salamandastron. So little of his adult life had been spent there. He had grown up around blades and weapons and had learned extraordinary skill from old Kettle and his father. He’d used that skill many a time over the years, how many times had it saved his life? His patrol’s?

But he was tired. How could he continue on? He knew his reaction times were getting slower. Not perceptively, they were. His joints ached, he left more and more duties to the younger officers.

He took a deep breath. “Marm, I wish to retire.”

[Elicia]

Ryn looked at Aidan. She thought for a moment, on the question: if she could stay, and live at Redwall in peace, would she? She knew the answer. "Yes. If there was another badgerlord in Salamandastron, I would take my leave of the mountain. I love it: it is where I have spent all my life. But, now..." She studied the grass silently for a moment. "My father and mother were Badgerlords, and, if I had had a son or daughter, then they would be badgerlord after me. But I don't. After someone new comes," She swallowed. "I can relax."

"I know you would have." Ryn said, smiling softly. "And too many always die in conflict. Aidan, you've been brave and strong beyond the call of your duty through the years. You've been a fine friend and companion, and someone that I could always trust. You have certainly done an outstanding job through the years. My old friend, if that is what your wish: to retire..." She bowed her head slightly. "Then all I can do is grant it."

Her thoughts flashed back to Salamandastron, as Aidan's had. So many years there- so many years she had spent with Aidan, and with others. She had seen so many die, and so many grow there. Salamandastron was her mountain. There was everything that she had ever had- when there was no Redwall, there had been nowhere else for her. In Salamandastron she had her forge- her hares- her patrol- her memories. So many things had happened there, and so many days had passed. Peace and battle; day and night. She had seen her mountain through all of it.

But now she had somewhere else to go to. Somewhere that was peaceful. Somewhere- though not home- was close, and somewhere that she could love. Salamandastron held her childhood, but Redwall- Redwall could hold her future. Ryn was afraid that if she stayed at Salamandastron for the rest of her life, she could never avoid the hot blooded rush that came from watching hares fight and taking part herself. She couldn't resist the idea of Redwall: a place without the clanging of swords.

[Treble Tiderunner]

"Yes. If there was another badgerlord in Salamandastron, I would take my leave of the mountain. I love it: it is where I have spent all my life. But, now..." She studied the grass silently for a moment. "My father and mother were Badgerlords, and, if I had had a son or daughter, then they would be badgerlord after me. But I don't. After someone new comes," She swallowed. "I can relax."

“Perhaps ye should search for this successor.” Aidan suggested, placing a paw on her good arm. “Old friend… Marm. Badgers have done it in the past. Visit the secret chamber, read what fate has for Salamandastron.”

"I know you would have." Ryn said, smiling softly. "And too many always die in conflict. Aidan, you've been brave and strong beyond the call of your duty through the years. You've been a fine friend and companion, and someone that I could always trust. You have certainly done an outstanding job through the years. My old friend, if that is what your wish: to retire..." She bowed her head slightly. "Then all I can do is grant it."

Aidan bowed his head, “It is a peaceful life here, marm, one I could grow to like. But I wish to stay at my mountain. I am not dead yet. The position of Armsmaster is empty since old Kettle died all those years ago,” He thought briefly back to that tough hare of his childhood, how she had always over-awed him with her expertise. “If ye don’t mind, marm, I would take up that position and teach our young hares.”

The sun was below the tall trees past the west wall, casting the abbey in a sort of twilight.