For What its Worth (Maxeh...)

[lorki]

Snow had settled overnight on the ramparts. It blanketed the entire fort making it look somehow gorgeous and innocent. The flakes had fallen slowly, giving the harsh cold wind plenty of time to swirl the soft powder into large drifts along the sides of the walkway and across the grounds and slave compound. Now in the early afternoon snow fell again slow and sporadic from the gray clouds that covered the forest in all directions as far as the eye could see.

Soko watched the heat from her breath form in the air while she stepped quietly along the path already forged through the few inches of snow on the walls. She was alone in that section of the ramparts. usually there would be guards about but she had just finished in the kitchens and she was sure that most of them had abandoned their jobs to gorge themselves on her hard work. Her walk along the lonely walls was a bit of a routine. After working in the hot stuffy kitchen the cold air felt refreshing and the chill in her chest as she inhaled deeply helped to calm her constant racing thoughts.

The sable had managed to obtain a tattered long jacket, it was a bit large for her and as she folded her arms across her chest and tugged it about her closely it seemed to nearly swallow her up. She stopped and turned to look out at the forest, her eyes tilted to the south where her old home would have been located, she suspected it to be a pile of ruble by this time. Tears sprang about but she quickly defeated them with a sharp shake of her head.

She let her arms go and reached out her paws to drag them along the cold stone. She didn't understand what her mission was. Kill N'tashi, chase off the horde, bring peace? No. She'd never been able to see herself as anything other then alone, doomed to solidarity. And now, bombarded by new friends, a forced enemy... a purpose? She shame and confusion would remain constant they had become part of her, etched into her being, her name, her life.

She tilted her head back and exhaled steam upwards, she watched it to forget that she had lost sight of what she truly desired. Then and there, in the cold up above the fort and above the woods she didn't want to find out what her motivation was. She wanted to breath in the icy air and count the trees.

[Maxodis]

It can be remarkably disturbing how silent it gets during winter. At times, when the land is completely frozen over and covered with a solid sheet of white powder, when there are no insects nor birds to bring comforting noise to the world, one can find themselves sharply aware of their own thoughts. Abandoned by the constant ambiance of background noise, those thoughts seemed comparatively loud and booming. Under such circumstances, one finds it impossible to ignore those thoughts that are troubling, to drown out the small arguments within their mind that would break their otherwise solid resolve.

Captain Vsevolod Petrenko had been alone on the ramparts since well before dawn. His previous attempts to sleep had been halted by his ever-present conscious as it brought to question every faulty decision Vsevolod had ever made.If, it argued, you have been so horribly wrong on important matters such as these, then who's to say that the goal you strive for is faulty as well? You have clearly shown your incompetence by your past behavior, how can you be so ignorant of your failures? How can you possibly take all those into account and honestly believe that your goal is morally right? Tormented by his own thoughts, he had risen from his bed at an indescribably early hour to seek refuge from his mind out on the wall.

The shift in location helped only slightly. Jarred fully awake by the pervasive cold, his mind lost some of it's power. Fully aware and able to reason, he could distinguish what was reality within his mind, what things were true. The voice lost power, no longer being on the threshold of sleep, as Vsevolod was no longer held sway by the confusion and partial awareness that is present at the onset of sleep. In a desperate attempt to silence the voice within his head, he observed all the arguments it presented within his now calmer mind. Wrapping the dark coat tighter around him, he leaned forward on the wall on a gap in the battlements as he contemplated.

He had remained unmoved for several hours, the snow that had settled on him belied the turmoil that raged within him as he found no relief from the guilt that pervaded his mind. Upon closer review, he found all the arguments of his conscience to be valid. The troublesome entity had since fallen silent, its purpose fulfilled. Vsevolod made a feeble attempt to clench his long-frozen paws, but was only rewarded with the slightest twitch of movement. Dimly, he registered the pain that emanated from them. What was physical pain in the face of emotional torment but a distant disturbance? Still, it was probably time to move to a warmer environment, perhaps eat something as well. His broken resolve could wait until another time.

He rose slowly, vaguely surprised at the amount of snow that had blanketed him during his musings. He realized that if he had waited too much longer to leave then he would have to be dug out. Painfully, he stretched stiff and cold limbs, shaking off yet more snow from his dark coat. He turned to leave and found himself staring at the sable. He froze in surprise, when had she gotten there. Made speechless, Vsevolod found he could only stare at the small figure.

[lorki]

67...68...69...70...71... Should she count the dead ones too?

Her eyes drifted over the endless assortment of trees. Useless attempts at solving her larger problem didn't last long though, after all they never did. Unaware of Vsevolod's snow covered figure she turned her head away from him and peered down the pathway. Though she figured she may have a few more minutes to be left alone she knew her time to relax was dwindling and thus far no relaxation had taken place.

A noise behind her caused one ear to swivel and point towards Vsevolod. Already she was nervous about turning around. Uneasily, exhaling another cloud of breath she turned her neck so that her head and dark eyes stared shocked at Vsevolod. How long had be been there? It could only have been seconds. Her paws stayed outstretched, place don the cold stone of the wall. She didn't move at all in face, she'd been found up here before, made a hasty get away and a few lame excuses. She told herself that she could just do it again... or avoid the ferret all together.

Quite swiftly she took a turn and began to walk away from the ferrets snowy form.

[Maxodis]

Before he became aware of his action, Vsevolod had stepped forward and seized a hold of the sable's coat. Gripping the ragged collar sent waves of pain rippling up his arm, but he stubbornly refused to relinquish his grip. Several seconds later, his mind caught up to the rest of his conscious. He stared in surprise, half at his own reaction and half of the frightened reaction of the sable.

Several seconds passed in awkward silence as he wondered silently why he had halted this small creature, or what he would do now that he had stopped her silent escape. Finding no answers to either question, he silently cursed himself. Well, he would have to do something.

Working to clear his features of the shock and surprise that had been so predominant, he affected a serious expression. "What are you doing here?" He asked, inwardly taken aback at the ragged quality of his own voice.

[lorki]

Her head turned sharply towards him, her dark eyes grew wide with shock and surprise. She urged herself to come up with a viable excuse but before one even entered her mind she opened her mouth to speak. "Shoveling." Without a shovel, very smart. "Uh... I mean looking at the snow. And then I was just going to get the shovel so I could shovel and..." She was digging her own grave.

The past few days, Soko had done things that surprised her. She had stood up to the Otter who was rude to her- and ended up on the winning side. She had Accepted that the hallucination of a mouse somehow meant she had some sort of purpose and part of her was even looking forward to finding it out, she had even spoken against that Fox, Jakk. All things that were quite.. well not very telling of her basic personality... or at least her personality fro the past twenty years... But what else could she do.

Her jaw set and she pulled deliberately away from the ferret. "I wasn't do anything." She said, more seriously her voice lost its panicked ring although the same rushed uneasy thoughts still held firmly to her mind.

[Maxodis]

Though initially running sluggishly, Captain Vsevolod Petrenko's mind was now operating at it's usual efficiency. Slowly withdrawing his paws to the relative warmth of his coat's sleeves, he regarded this small sable intently. Already, the memory of his own trauma and mental anguish were beginning to fade, replaced by the detached cold thoughts that had become such a core part of his soul that he relied on their indifference for his own strength. The fact that the Sable was disclosing something was undeniable, even the densest hordebeast would be able to determine that. The question that remained, however, was what that thing was. Secretly, he continued to wonder at his subconscious drive to find out more about this seemingly insignificant creature.

He advanced a few steps, his face set into an expression of grim severity. Standing directly in front of her, he loomed over her slight figure, silently making a point of the difference in their height. Quietly, he observed her defiant stance. He was quite well-known among the hordebeasts, none who had heard the rumors about him would be foolish enough to adopt such a determination of defiance. Not that the rumors were true, but why put an end to a device that would ultimately assist him in reaching his goal?

"Its not often that one finds a creature looking so deliberate in their affirmation of having done nothing at all," He commented quietly, pleased that the ragged edge of his voice had faded, leaving his words with a disarming quality about them. "You do not know who I am?"

[lorki]

Her moment of set determination faded quickly as he got closer. She had to tilt her chin up go keep her eyes on his face, she took an awkward step away from him but realized that it did very little good. Why did he have to be so interested? Why wasn't he down in the kitchens with the rest of them? As he spoke she realized that she must have appeared to be acting up. Aware that he had caught on to what she thought would only be seen as slight annoyance, but he could clearly tell her feelings were deeper then that. However, he was quickly dissolving any sort of stubbornness that she had and stomping it into the snow.

"You do not know who I am?"

Well, Hellsteeth, was she suppose to? Soko raked her mind for any reference, she didn't normally look the hordesbeasts in the face and less then that did she take time to learn their names. If he was someone she ought to be well aware of and yet she was not she may be in more trouble then she originally thought- her eyes fell in dismay. Then it dawned on her that perhaps he did not know her as well. After all there were so many hordesbeast about the fort he surely would not keep track of all of them.

Her eyes lifted back to look at his face again. "No." She answered honestly. "I don't. Do you know who I am?"

[Maxodis]

Bright eyes watched and analyzed the sable's reactions, deep set amid the opposing dark features. Based on her reactions, it was clear that, though clearly treading on unfamiliar territory, this one held a determination backed by a innate intelligence that was a rare trait among creatures. A vague sense of respect came over the ferret, though the emotion was quickly stifled and filed away for a more appropriate time. There were more important things at the moment.

He matched her look, dropping his sever expression for one of vague curiosity, brightly hazel eyes piercing into her soul. He allowed another lapse of uncomfortable silent to occur before he spoke once more. "You? You are an unfamiliar face. If you do not know me, then it is apparent that you have not been here long." He crossed his arms, His slowly defrosting paws distantly aching as they lost the numb relief of the freezing cold. "I am Captain Petrenko: you would do well to learn my name, and my face." His expression shifted back into one of severity, "Who is your commanding officer?"

[lorki]

Soko felt her chest heave and the corners of her mouth twitch upwards. She would not allow the small chuckle to come out. She forced the the feeling downwards, she could certainly not giggle in the face of one of N'tashi's Captain. Her face returned to blankness again and then she turned her head slightly- well aware that his severity had seemed to fade a bit. "I'm afraid to say you're wrong, Captain Petrenko. I've been here for... twenty years." She paused, giving him a moment to consider this information.

"My name Is Sokana Kehure... And I suppose I don't have a commanding officer... well actually I have plenty." A sad smile crept over her face as she repeated her last sentence in her head. Plenty Indeed. She swallowed pride enough to say it, although she imagined the ferret could already imagine what she was talking about. "I'm a slave."

[Maxodis]

Though subdued, the perceptive ferret failed to miss the other's mirth. He was quietly taken aback by this unexpected reaction, but kept his silence, expecting to hear the reasoning behind it as the Sable began to speak.

"I'm afraid to say you're wrong, Captain Petrenko. I've been here for... twenty years."

Twenty years? How could that be possible? The ferret had been in the fort for a solid fifteen, wouldn't he have logically seen her in all that time? She had to be lying, but for what reason? What could this cautious creature be hiding? Vsevolod regarded the sable with a dubious look, but continued to maintain his silence. Let her speak her peace.

"My name Is Sokana Kehure... And I suppose I don't have a commanding officer... well actually I have plenty...I'm a slave."

This information hit the ferret like a blast of icy wind, effectively bringing the calculating process of his mind to a halt as it froze. Incapable of thought for a solid minute, he could only stare at her with eyes widened with surprise and shock. Seemingly in an effort to make up for the lack of activity that pervaded it, his mind immediately posed an innumerable amount of questions. Reeling, the ferret fought to bring his mind back into a state of control.

She's a slave? How is that possible? You already know how that is possible, your own family was faced with the decision of slavery or forced service, courtesy of your lord. How, then, did I manage to not notice her during all this time? You already know that answer as well, silly fool. You have never paid attention to the slaves, operating under the assumption that they are all goodbeasts, and therefore, despicable.

Distantly, the ferret came to realize that the voice within his mind was the same that had tormented him earlier, mocking every figment of his existence. The burning shame and despair that had broken his resolve returned to plague him once more, threatening to rise to the surface. He swallowed hard, only then realizing that he had stumbled several steps back from this small sable. The voice continued to mock the ferret, pressing it's attack on his resolve during this time of his weakness. Here, Vsevolod, is a creature of your own kind; one who, by her birth, has been judged to be inherently evil, despite how her nature may be. Here is a creature who has been a slave for twenty years of her life, who has suffered and endured the same conditions as the scum who deserve their fate. Here is a creature who, had you not been so remarkably foolish to ignore previously, you might have been able to help. What, then, of your ultimate goal? If you have failed in saving this one individual, what hope could you possibly have for others?

Vsevolod was silent then for a long time. His dulled eyes stared unseeingly at the ice under their feet as he endured and accepted the mental torment. Filled with burning self-despite, his face rose, his previous pained expression replaced with black anger. He strode briskly past the sable, grabbing her upper arm roughly as he did so, dragging her along in his wake. Though unnecessary, he spoke quietly, a slight growl seeping into his voice. "Come with me."

[lorki]

After witnessing his initial reaction she felt as if she had ought to have thrown her arms out after she was done speaking and shout 'Surprise!' He seemed too stunned and even horrified at the information to form a reply. She could see that he was thinking, the distant look about his eyes after their first fleeting sign of shock made her uncomfortable.

She shifted uneasily as the time ticked by, moving her balance and weight off the right side, to the left, then back again. She didn't think she would be so shamed to speak the words, tell him so bluntly where she stood in his society. But it hurt her small amount of budding pride to think about what that word would mean to him.

His sudden return to motion made her jump slightly, her eyes lifting from thought to lock onto his already mobile form. It took her a moment to realize he was moving towards her, quickly. She tried at first to move out of his way, somewhat hopeful that he was storming off for some reason unknown to her.

This fleeting idea quickly shattered as his paw gripped her arm and she stumbled to catch up with his fast pace. Fear leaked into her mind as her eyes flew up to focus on his face. Forgetting any politeness or attempt to hold onto a small glimpse of stubborn dignity she managed to squeak out the single word that had jumped to the forefront of her thoughts, "Where?"

[Maxodis]

He did not hear nor answer her question, receded once more into his tempestuous mind. No longer did his conscience strip him of his confidence, no longer did it work to endow upon him a crippling sense of doubt. That position was occupied by his own conscious thought. Riddled with guilt, he mercilessly berated himself for his unforgivable foolishness. His eyes, unable to see past the thick veil of cold rage, watched the ground beneath his feet quickly pass by. There was no cognitive thought as to where he was dragging the startled sable. Those who saw the odd pair approaching them needed only the slightest glance at the ferret's eyes to know to move out of the way.

It was the familiar sound of his door slamming that brought Vsevolod back into awareness. Looking up, he realized that he had taken the sable to his quarters. He hesitated for a brief moment, once again questioning his subconscious decision to bring her here. He quickly decided that it was to bring answers to his unasked questions out of this unfortunate creature.

He pulled a worn wooden chair from it's place at the small table in the room and released the sable's arm. Surprised for a moment, he blinked, realizing how hard he had gripped her arm in his anger. He gestured silently to the chair, motioning for her to sit. Without waiting for her to take his offer, he turned away from her, stalking over to the wall opposite from the waiting chair. The wall was bare of any decoration save for the crude iron spikes set in it that held his longbow. Silently, regarding his weapon, he stood stiffly facing it, paws held behind him in a military fashion. With his face turned away from her sight, he closed his eyes as sorrow returned to his features, a few pained tears seeping from his eyelids. Quietly, he allowed his thoughts to settle down into a dull roar. Several minutes passed.

Finally, partially confident once more of his ability to hold his composure, he took a deep breath to steady himself. Still standing stiffly turned away from her, he spoke, almost inaudibly. His voice was subdued, pained, resigned, layered with sadness and compassion. "Are there others among the slaves like you?"

[lorki]

Soko's stomach flopped painfully to the side. She was beginning to feel sick as he rushed her along the halls. Unaware of where he was going, where she was, what corners he was tugging her around and what rooms she past by the sable felt sickly confused.

It even took her a moment to register the fact that they had stopped in a room... she guessed it to be his, she was too distracted glancing about the area to notice he had released her. A dull pain where his paw had been brought her attention back and she slowly lifted and placed a paw on her arm, rubbing away the ache.

She sat as he gestured for her to do in the chair and stared, horrified, as he approached the weapon. Part of her screamed to sprint out the door, down whatever hall she had found herself in and as far away from the ferret as possible. But she was quickly reminded that she was in a large enclosed space and he could find her either way.

So she just sat rigidly, staring at the back of the ferrets head. Her paws gripped the arms of the chair, ready at any moment to aid her in a quick escape. She could probably out maneuver this ferret.. she could probably out maneuver nearly any beast in this fort. Surely Soko was not in any way a fighter, but she had a good sense of balance and her species lent itself to being particularly agile and fast. Yes... should the situation call for action she could at least avoid and dodge.

But... there was so sudden escalation. He was not threatening, he appeared calm, she arched her neck and tilted her body in the chair- attempting to get a look at his expression. Failing, she straightened up again and watched the back of his head, she studied the weapon he was facing and also let her eyes wander the rest of the humble and mostly uninteresting room.

Her glance returned to the ferret just mere moments before he began speaking. "I..." She paused- in complete honesty she looked at the floor so much she couldn't even be sure... certainly if there were they would have approached her. She knew there had been more when she was younger, but by this time they had either been killed or absorbed into the horde. "I don't think so... there were more before." She did not list who, more recollection of her parents was not what she wanted nor needed.

[Maxodis]

"...I see."

So, then, it was not just this one sable that he had doomed to suffer. There had been others that were wrongly harmed. Weakly, he reminded himself that his ignorance of the possibility of there being verminfolk among the slaves was not a direct cause of their suffering. He could not possibly expect himself to be perfect. And yet, despite this...

He wiped a paw over his face, both to blur the trails of his tears in his fur and in an attempt to relieve the muscles in his face that had been tensed in sorrow and pain for longer than was comfortable. He began to pace alongside the wall, forgetting the existence of the sable. What was wrong with him? He was never one to become so emotionally distraught. Where did all these chaotic feeling stem from? Why could he not banish them and push on with life, as he had learned to do after the death of his family?

Though unintentional, this thought gave the pain cause to flare up anew. Despairingly, he paused in his pacing, rapidly trying to decide how to deal with these rampant emotions before they consumed him. Pivoting on his heel, he quickly strode to a low cupboard, throwing open its doors. Suddenly calmed, he slowly withdrew two finely wrought, short, crystal glasses and a thick bottle filled with a clear liquid. Carrying both glasses between two claws and grasping the bottle with his remaining claws, he walked to the table. As he passed Soko, he seized the back of her chair with his free paw and turned it around to face the table, with her still seated in it. He almost collapsed into the chair opposite her across the table.

Placing the glasses next to each other, he opened the seal on the bottle and filled them, one with significantly less of the clear, strong-smelling fluid than the other. He offered the glass with less fluid in it to her, wordlessly offering her to share a drink with him.

[lorki]

Soko couldn't... and didn't do much to respond to his few words. She just kept her eyes on him, trying to figure out this odd behavior. She'd never seen one of N'tashi's beasts seem so... distraught at her situation. She recalled most of them seeing it as quite humorous. When he moved quite surprisingly she gave another small jolt in her seat- she did not like how sudden this ferret was, every moment she began to calm down he randomly set himself into motion or spoke and shook her up again.

And then he was spinning her around like she was nothing to him... uneasily she realized she probably amounted to near or next to nothing- he was tall and quite fit. She was- despite having adequate muscle for her type of work- quite small and sleek. She let out a small surprised squeal as he moved her and her paws shot out to grip the arms of the chair to keep her in place.

It was then that she understood- he was being friendly. Amazed she reached out wordlessly and managed a small smile as she took the drink. She didn't have to ask what it was- she'd been around enough drunk hordesbeasts to know, but the small amount certainly wouldn't have too many negative side effects and surely he seemed to think she needed it. Grasping at any offer of even slight kindness she raised the small glass in a fashion she'd seen many times and sipped.

Sipping was a bad idea. Although that was all that was needed to drain all the liquid into her mouth. It tasted sour and horrible, her eyes bulged outwards, her ears shot back as she clenched her fangs hard together to keep her from spitting all over the table and the ferret Captain. She forced her throat open and swallowed. This also could be considered a bad idea. Her throat burned painfully. She slammed the glass down and instantly placed one paw over her mouth and the other on her neck. She gasped and let her mouth hang open for a moment as she gave an automatic twitch of her head from side to side.

"Ughh... I'm sorry." She shook her head again, blinking and focused back on Vsevolod, "I haven't ever... eh... done that before." her paw gestured across the table at the glasses and the bottle- although the disgusting taste had faded and the heat in her chest had faded to become nearly pleasant.