For What its Worth (Maxeh...)

[lorki]

It did not take long for the small sable to understand he was not talking about a family, but rather his family. She approached the ruins again, ending up right outside the first pile of ruble. As he began to speak her expression softened to one of shared sadness. Before he even began to describe the killing she wanted to lead over the pile of debris and... No, nothing was particularly comforting in such a state, she knew that well enough. And he would be better off to say it all at once.

As he described the murder she too could not help but feel her chest swell in anger at the one who had dared to inflict such harm on even an individual, let alone a family. She looked sympathetically down at him as his rage grew. It could have disturbed her, but she saw it for what it was. Misplaced, but only in a sense. She herself could have easily fallen to the same feelings he had but rather she saw the wrongs of both, having suffered from both sides. She thought for a moment that telling Vsevolod this may bring him around, but quickly she reminded herself that a lecture to the suffering was never worth a thing.

His words betrayed him. He wasn't cruel nor evil, simply hurting and with no other outlet he had, even rightfully, turned his rage on those he saw as responsible for the death of his family. It was painfully wrong in reasoning, but still oddly understandable.

As the ferret fell silent and hid his face against his paws she stepped over the small barrier between them and towards his shaky figure. She knelt beside him and as first rested a paw across his back. Her vision blurred for his sake and she shifted to hug him, one arm around his neck and the other over his back. She rested her head on the back of his shoulders.

Silence was only broken my his ragged breathing and occasional sad noises. She was considering what name to call him by, but settled that anything other than the informal first name would be too distant. She spoke then, whispered calmly, "I'm sorry, Vsevolod." She murmured, recalling how he had talked about her own suffering that she did not deserve. At least she had not been plagued with rage... Hell, she didn't know what she'd been plagued with, considering nothing in her life currently made any logical since. But still... his continuance of pain was worse, no, more destructive than hers had been. "You've been angry for too long."

[Maxodis]

Flames danced across Vsevolod's vision as they consumed the remains of his slaughtered family. He could still make out their definite curled tongues as they hungrily licked at the crumbling walls of his home, despite his vision being blurred by tears. The acrid smoke filled his nostrils and stung his eyes. Deeper was the torment occurring within the young ferret, who knew little of the world and found himself standing alone against it. His desperate pleas for his family went unanswered. This was no horrid dream, it was reality. This was life.

Lost once more within his memories, Vsevolod slowly became aware of Sokana as she embraced him. The action, simple though it was, was still enough to further expand the chaos within Vsevolod. Tormented as he was, his mind still made a desperate attempt to logically reason why she acted as she had. She had no reason to show compassion for him. She had been freed, she did not have to stay and comfort him. Why did she care?

Did it really matter?

It had been fifteen years since he had felt the comfort of another. To be held once again in another's arms... to have someone to take the burden of one's problems... How could he have forgotten these feelings? He had resolved on the day of his death that he would face the world alone. He resolved to care for no others, as that would only lead to pain when they fell into misfortune. He had secluded and shoved aside his own pain, discarded the corpse of his old self and donned a new one whose purpose was solely to achieve his dream. Had he been wrong? Had he really been the ghost of his former self, lost and alone, all these years?

The thought only caused him to weep more bitterly. He held the sable to him, clinging to her desperately as he let out the culmination of fifteen years of pain leave him.

It was a long time before he was calm once more. His breath came steady and slow as he leaned the side of his head against hers. He still held her loosely. His resolve had been broken. He was no longer a lost soul. He had been found by the one creature in this wretched world who seemed to care. He was momentarily struck with the idea of following in the footsteps of his parents, of leaving behind this accursed place without ever looking back. But he could not simply abandon those like himself to the prejudice that hung over them. He could not leave while the possibility that another young child could be orphaned like he had stood. He could not leave with her, it was not meant to be.

It seemed he would have to remain lost for some time longer.

He slowly rose to his feet, gently pulling her up with him. Tenderly, he embraced her, not knowing why but realizing that reasoning didn't matter much anyway. He spoke in a whisper. "I cannot thank you enough... you don't know how much this means to me... but you cannot stay here, in Mossflower."

[lorki]

Poor ferret, and to think she'd been afraid of him that same day. Snow had begun to drift down again, small flakes stuck to the ends of her fur as he clung onto her. She had to put a surprising amount of effort into not tipping over and falling onto him as he did this. She was quiet as he sobbed, she didn't expect so much emotion coming from him- she understood he was in pain but he had seemed mostly resistant to her comforting before then. She recalled how blank he appeared to her at first and then to the rats the gate, it must have been carefully hidden feelings.

She pushed herself up with him and remained hugging him tightly. His current state devastated her, his past clearly made made his present miserable and such a thing was unfair. She wondered quietly if she had done the same thing to herself, she was not full of rage or hate as he was, rather she was convinced of her own worthlessness. No... she was not miserable, after all she had just been liberated. Comparatively to this ferret she was perfectly well off.

Beside her empathy trickled slight despair, that he felt the need to take his rage out on the other slaves... the kind of creatures who always expected her to be hardhearted. In his case... one particularly beast had made him into what that beasts was probably trying to eradicate. Vsevolod was fulfilling the destiny laid before him by one filled with blind prejudice and anger... and he was becoming the same himself.

Of course she could not tell him this, she did not want to bring his morals into question when he was so clearly in pain. But she would not forget this, and she knew in the back of her head that she would be staying in the forest and that she would be returning to the fort. Just as the thought entered her mind he spoke.

"I cannot thank you enough... you don't know how much this means to me... but you cannot stay here, in Mossflower."

Quickly she shook her head. "You don't need to be thanking me. But I can't go anywhere else. This was my home before, It will be my home now. I can learn. I'll avoid the patrols. But I can't leave here, if I do I'll need to come back." She paused, knowing that the ferret would leave her to return to N'tashi's horde. "Just like you won't leave the fort... even if you ought to."

[Maxodis]

"You don't need to be thanking me. But I can't go anywhere else. This was my home before, It will be my home now. I can learn. I'll avoid the patrols. But I can't leave here, if I do I'll need to come back."

An endless number of protestations formed in Vsevolod's mind at hearing this. Perhaps she didn't fully understand the ominous threat to her well-being that he was trying to warn her about. She'd had most of her youth stolen from her, it would kill Vsevolod to learn that someone had stolen her life as well. He opened his mouth to speak again before she interrupted him.

"Just like you won't leave the fort... even if you ought to."

He realized then that he was not the only one withholding information. Sokana, like himself, had an undisclosed reason for staying in Mossflower. He gave up the thoughts of convincing her otherwise, that she was aware of something of what he planned and had referenced it in such a way only spoke of her own determination. Nothing he could say would change her mind.

Still he wanted to drop to his knees and beg that she abandon her goal and leave it all behind her. Mossflower was no longer safe for anyone not well-vested in survival techniques. Not to say that living as a slave at Fort N'Tashi wasn't the easiest task, but the woods were different. There were things out there that were worse than just the raiders or N'Tashi's patrols. There would be worse things to come. He'd already caused her to suffer once, he didn't want to unintentionally do it again.

He pulled away from the embrace, as much as he loathed to do so. Worry creased his brow as he held her shoulders at arm's-length. "Promise me just one thing... promise me you will stay safe."

[lorki]

"Promise me just one thing... promise me you will stay safe."

Soko smiled up at him, both touched by his clear concern and glad that he wasn't lecturing her choice to stay around the woods. However the promise that he asked her to make caused a slight hesitation. It was painfully likely that she would end up involving herself in the conflict between the slaves, the camp in the woods, and the fort. Whether she was acting as the mouse vision wished her to, or attempting to help others escape the fort. If was battle for the fort broke out...

"I wont be going looking for trouble, and I learn fast. Don't worry, I'll be safe." She nodded, reached out a paw and pushed it gently against his chest, not to push him away, just to rest it there. She tapped a claw above his heart. "Promise me you'll be nice if I stop by for a visit." Her grin was playful and joking, she could not ask anything more of the ferret, he'd given her something she'd always coveted.

However, there was true concern behind what he said, and she shared the same thoughts. She had no idea how to survive out there in the woods, she'd probably be lost in a matter of hours and wander out of Mossflower anyway. The idea caused her stomach to sink slightly but she tried to not let it show through on her face.

[Maxodis]

"Promise me you'll be nice if I stop by for a visit."

The ferret had serious doubts of that ever happening, considering the circumstances. Huh, stop by for a visit indeed. He chuckled softly.

"I promise, though I cannot make any promises that there will still be vodka for me to share when that day comes."

His mirth slowly died as he began to realize how much he would miss her company. How odd it was that having only known her for a day, he now dreaded their separation, which would have to occur soon. The sun was going down, and he did not relish the thought of getting lost in Mossflower on a frigid winter night. As much as it killed him, he would have to leave her to go on her way. He clasped he extended paw, held it gently in his own. How frail and small it seemed. Lacking words to express the emotion he felt, he lifted he paw slightly and brushed his lips against it in a tender kiss.

He swallowed hard to suppress the feeling of loss that was overcoming him. There were an endless amount of things he wanted to say, but in the confusion of his heart, he could only utter the one wish he wanted more than any other. He looked into her eyes once more for a long moment before speaking again. "I must take my leave... but promise me we will meet again."

[lorki]

Her smile turned to a large grin. "You're asking an awful lot of me, Vsevolod. Of course we will- I just told you I'd stop by for a visit." She laughed airily before returning to seriousness, "one way or another, I do think we will." She nodded, convincing herself the same. That was- they would meet again if she could manage to survive more then a few days out here... doubtful.

She shook thoughts of impending death and doom out of her head. The ferret captain, the one she'd feared that morning, the one that- according to the hallucination of that mouse, she was suppose to oppose, was leaving her. And despite all things that seemed determined to keep her friendship from reaching him, it had all the same. She was struck with sadness at the fact that he would soon be gone.

Still, he should get back. She could stay in the ruins tonight, find some shelter among the ruble but it was clearly better for him to get back to the fort and the security before it got too dark. She stepped back in an attempt to make it easier for him to leave. She figured as long as she wasn't clinging to him, although he clearly felt the same she did about separating, he would find walking away much more simple.

She opened her mouth to bid him farewell but was struck by a sudden thought. She lurched forward, paw reaching out to grab his arm as if she had expected him to suddenly vaporize and disappear. "Wait!" She said, her voice suggesting the same irrational panic. She let him go and reached both paw behind her neck to undo the knot that tied her only personal belonging to her. The small gold perfect circle reflected a reddish color in the light of the low sun. It wasn't particularly impressive but it was beautiful and she wanted deeply to give something to him, considering he had given her plenty of his things and her freedom.

She held the small trinket out to him, "Take this with you." She considered he might protest and quickly added, "please."

[Maxodis]

It was hard for the ferret to keep himself from immediately refusing such an offering. Though it was simple, the small golden earring was clearly a meaningful item to the Sable. Its simplicity only served to accentuate the purity of its glow as it took in the harsh fires of dusk sunlight and turned it to something softer, something more radiant. The metaphorical significance was not lost upon the pained ferret, and he found himself struggling to keep a brave face. How curious it was, to have only known an individual for a day and to have become so irreversibly attached to them.

He accepted the gift with a gingerly reverence. He held it by the crude string that it was attached to and wondered at how she had managed to keep it safe for so long in a place where hordebeasts were known to kill each other for scraps of food, much less jewelry. That she had taken such care of it spoke volumes of its importance to her, and he almost tried to give it back. The thought struck him that even though she was well aware of the significance, she was still insisting on having him keep it in his care. How ironic, he mused as he tied it behind his own neck. I have given her freedom, but she has given me so much more.

He was overcome by a brief moment of sadness, words could not begin to describe his gratitude. His simple action did not seem anywhere near enough to repay the debt he owed her. But that could not be helped. He took a deep, steadying breath and let it out slowly. He pushed aside his weaknesses and stood tall, a sad smile creeping onto his features. Yes, she had given him something special, and the only thing he could do was try to remain strong. He already knew he his life would be forever harder after having felt such profound emotion. He already knew he would spend long nights sleepless with worry, wondering if she was safe, if she was happy. He already knew if he wasn't careful, the worry could eventually kill him. He could do no less.

The fact, however, remained that he did have to leave. If not for himself, then for her. He hesitated for a second, disappointed that he had still not found words that could express what he so desperately needed to say. He could only hope that she could read what was left unsaid in his eyes. The moments seemed to stretch out for an eternity as he looked upon her for what was to be the last time before quietly turning and walking back the way they had come. He blinked at the sharp pain in his eyes. Did his eyes sting only because of the glare of the dying sunlight that he was walking into? Was this crimson warmth the after effects of a violent burn, or was it something softer?

For what its worth, only time would tell.