How to improve your role-playing.

[Treble Tiderunner]

This is a post I put up today:

Snow! It hardly seemed possible, that she had been here nearly half a season already. The thick white blanket contrasted sharply with the Indian summer day she had stumbled into the camp. Fern loved the snow, and it was with the resolve to enjoy the day that had descended, bringing the dibbuns such joy.

The ottermaid had done quite a bit of exploring, but she didn't need it as she followed the noisy dibbuns and Violet to another entranceway, bigger than the main but equally camouflaged. Skipper had told her this was the main effort of the moles who had dug and expanded the natural tunnels. Fern admired the moles for such dedication to detail.

Outside, Fern fell behind as she walked slower and more sedately than the dibbuns, but she couldn't resist a few skips and twirls. Violet was singing to the dibbuns and Fern joined in, their voices carrying easily in the still morning.

"As spinney and woodland grow leafier each day,
Young birds sing that summer is soon on its way.
I'll find me the glade that my heart recalls best,
In my soft summer dell I will lay down to rest."

"Hello!" Fern smiled as she came into the little clearing. The dibbuns seemed to be winding up a snowball fight.

"Come'n make snowmice, miss Fern!" one of the older children called, waving a snowy paw.

However, I didn't used to roleplay this way. More likely I would have posted something like this:

"Oh blist'rin' blizzerds!" Aidan exclaimed, reaching out a paw to steady the snow-white hare who had almost collided with him. His companion snickered. "Nevva 'eard y'use that un b'fore, Aidan!" The tall, lean otter grinned at his friend.

[Maxodis]

Mmkay, so here's my take on Skipp's idea:

So you're in a RP and its your turn to reply. Your character doesn't really -do- much, but you'd like to lengthen your reply a bit, make it more in-depth. Here's an example response:

Mark scowled when he heard this. "Wot d'you mean I doan get no pie!?" He stomped angrily up to his mother and stuck his nose in her face, glaring at her.

So we clearly have a character here who is upset that his mother has told him he doesn't get any pie. He then gets in her face and glares at her. While direct, this reply is short, and can be improved in a few ways. To begin...

Facial expressions +:[/u]
Ok, so the character scowls. But what really constitutes a scowl? What muscles in the character's face move to alter it from it's former appearance? You could define these changes in your post, for example...

The muscles of the weasel's face tensed at the news. His brow furrowed and his eyes narrowed in a scowl as he regarded his mother.

Note that in some cases (And with the incorporation of your own writing style) you can replace the actual expression with the muscular action associated with it. That would look more like...

His brow furrowed as he heard the news.

Moving on...

Defining speech:
Another thing I would add to this post is a verb that defines the action of speaking. While leaving dialouge undefined is not a bad thing, its a basic technique that can add depth to your character. Displeased as this spoiled weasel is, we could rewrite this like so...

"Wot d'you mean I doan get no pie!?" He snapped.

Two words, eh. Not so much of a big deal. The beauty of these things is that you can attach other actions onto the end of them to further define what it is that your character is doing to react. For example...

"Wot d'you mean I doan get no pie!?" He snapped, stomping his footpaws in a temper tantrum.

Moving on...

Background information:[/u]
Alright, so your character reacts a certain way. But why? All behavior is the culmination of past events. Ask yourself what has happened to cause your character to act how they do. It can be helpful to add their past knowledge in when explaining their action, for example...

He stomped angrily up to his mother and stuck his nose in her face, glaring at her. She had always given Mark the first slice of pie, and it had always been the largest.

But that's only step one. You also should put how your character perceives the past, which brings me to my last tip...

Point-of-view:[/u]
This is the best tip I can give you, as it is pretty much the core value of roleplaying. Get in your character's head, see how they view things, and define it. Think like they do, and write out their path of logic as they consider things. This can be a little hard, to be honest. My example...

Where did she get off, telling her best son he couldn't have a slice of pie, the nerve! Was he not the one who did the most work around their house? Was he not the one who had collected the ingredients to the pie in the first place? Had he not always been her favorite? And to be treated with such disrespect after all his years of dutiful work!


In conclusion...[/u]
Yeh. There you have it. Can't think of anything to wrap this up, so I hope it helps!

-Maxodis

[Tirael]

An oft-forgotten method of sprucing up posts is interaction with the environment. When you're in a thread, keep the setting in mind. What time is it? Where are the characters? Are they doing any specific activity? The environment is not just a backdrop. It is a place, and it can affect your character's words or actions.

One of the simplest ways to acknowledge where you are is to see something, or look around. Especially in the first post of a thread, it can be good to briefly describe where it is taking place. Is it in the middle of the woods? By a river? Near Redwall? The location is important, and making sure we know where we are is helpful.

To take things a step up, don't just look at the setting: use it. Hide behind trees, sit on that chair, interact with what's around you! This helps add a three-dimensional element to the story, and allows the reader (and poster) to visualize what's going on and what can happen next. If your character has a reason to move around, do so! It adds depth to your posts. Not to say that the setting should be your focus (unless there's a specific reason), but acknowledge and use it to make things more real.

[Lucasaurusrex]

this has been really helpful! thanks!