Farrel Fettachur the Foehunter

[farrel]

Name: Farrel Fettachur the Foehunter
Age: Sixteen Years
Birthplace: The Southern Isles, Isle of Argong
Gender: Male
Species: Pine Marten
Job/Position: Vermin Hunter/Cleanser
Physical Description:

Farrel has a very muscular build, but his frame is lithe and sleek, rippling with muscles. He has dark brown fur covering his body, except for a creamy yellow which coats his underbelly and chin. His eyes are hazel and his body is criss-crossed with scars received in both training and battle. His tail is thicker, and stronger than others of his species, this is a physical marker of his birth tribe. He walks with an arrogant, confident posture of both one who is young and eager, and who's yet to truely meet his match in anything. His claws have also been painted crimson by himself.

Belongings:

One longsword with a black bound leather handle, and a luminous green pommelstone which seems to be alit form within. Plus this, he has two dirks designed in the same manner.

Personality:

Farrel is quite smart and sly, though is counter-acts this by being very arrogant in himself as many youngbeasts are. At times he is over-confident in his abilities and this has gotten him into trouble several times when he attacked more vermin than he could handle. He is good, and is fiercly loyal to his comrades and tribe members, and is willing to give his life for his companions at a moments noticed. However he also has a darker side. Farrel, like the rest of his tribemates, is completely heartless to vermin, hence his occupation. He was taught that vermin are disgusting animals, worthy of neither pity or remorse, and he treats them as such, seldom taking prisoners except for information. He has no objections to slaying vermin prisoners, never showing mercy. "Don't cast your pearls before swine" is a saying he often says, a saying that most inhabitants of the Southern Isles agree with.

He is very quick and agile, incredibly brilliant in battle plans and very wood wise. He knows his way around mossflower like the back of his hand.

He is far from perfect though, he is way to cocky. He will take on more enemies than he can handle, is trying to prove himself as a great hero again and again, and again. Arrogant, but not like some vermin warlords. He is also quick to jump to conclusions.

As most young ones are, he lives under the sub-conscious belief that bad things don't happen to him, that misfortune is always to fall upon 'somebeast else.' However, he will soon learn that to somebeast else, he is somebeast else.

As for his hatred of the vermin species, he has no troubles with it, neither do his friends or family. His family, namely his elders, have seen naught but vermin of the evil sort, corsairs, pirates and sea raiders back on the Isle, and now bandits, thieves and murderers in Mossflower, and as they arrived in the period while mossflower was still under the reign of Fort N'Tashi, they are stronger convinced than ever of the evil of all vermin.

For Farrel, the fact all vermin are evil is just that to him. A fact of life. The sun shines, the sky is blue, vermi nare evil. He has yet to realize that most goodbeasts consider him and his kind vermin.

However, Farrel is not a mere mindless killer like such assassins as Tarlish, he is also a fun-loving young one, often engaging in acts of mischief and such. He is a great lover of cuisine, ranging from Southern treats like Fire Ale and Sanjas Pie, to Northern Foods like Ice Cakes and Cold creams.

Farrel holds himself in a very high regard, an almost arrogant regard, almost. He considers his grim job of 'cleansing' a near joy thinks it is a mighty and honorable task, to clean the woods and free all goodbeasts from the reign of vermin forever!

History:

Farrel was born in the southern waters, on the isle of Argong in the Souther Isles. The Southern Isles are two large islands, each inhabited by two main species. The Isle of Argong is where the good Martens live, and the isle of Phineas is where the good wildcats reside, both are good and strong kingdoms, or were.

Twenty years ago, a unimagniably vast vermin horde lead by the Wolverine tyrant Vara Shvall invaded the isles, dragging the paradise into a bloody war. Several hundred tribal martens, ones who did not live in the cities or towns with other beasts, but instead lived in travelling warrior tribes doing battle with corsairs and raiders and the such, fled in ships when they're lands were taken over.

They set course for Mossflower, looking to create or find a safe haven for themselves to stay unil the end of the war. However, they did not find the refuge they seeked ,for they arrived at the time of the reign of the murderous war lord N'Tashi. Weak after months at sea, they settled on the western coast, out of the range of the warlords influence. Here they began creating a settlement, Darren.

After this city was completed, The events at their home isle added to the murderous, but thankfulyl ended, N'Tashi reign convinced them to take up the occupations as vermin hunters, to clear the land of filth. So as it was, many of the martens disperced back int otheir tribes, elaving a few hundred who opted to stay at the city and expand their population. The settlements gates are open to all goodbeasts, and ma different species now live there.

Farrel was raised in Mossflower, taught in the art of war. His brain was filled with moves, formations, tactics, and that vermins were brutal barbaric cowards worthy of naught but death. As with all Marten youth, at the age of sixteen he armed himself with his weapons of choice, and was sent out from the tribe for two seasons, in which he would wander the land, hunting the vermin and dealing out justice. Now one whole season into his hunt, he has amassed a impressive record of foebeasts slain. During his hunts, he choose his title, Foehunter. His father Fettachur has heard of his deeds and is quite proud of his son.

Currently, Farrel has cleansed forty nine vermin of several different species. He keeps record of such by teeth, for every vermin killed, he pulls a tooth from them to keep track of how many of each species.

[Treble Tiderunner]

We go by years here, and about his age. I like how you gave some weaknesses related to his youth, but I'd still like to see him a little older.

I have seen Farrel a lot, and each time he is the same. There is only one side to him, and that's war. Understandable, considering his history, but I would still like to see him expanded a little, out of your comfort zone. He's 16. I guarantee you that even the most dedicated soldier fooled around in his youth. Does he have friends? Crushes? Does he occasionally slack off? Does he hate push-ups? Running? Does he really like doing something (aside from war?) does he ever have doubts? Does he think for himself or is he a perfect little establishment puppet?

How does the reaction of woodlanders affect him (He is of a species seen as vermin) Why does he think these things? How? What does he think of?

Sorry to jump on you again, but I think he could be an even greater character in 3-D rather than 2-D.

[farrel]

Sure thing, I'll have to expand him somre more for sure. however I would like to say that he has yet to really meet woodlanders. He has been raised by his tribe for most of his life in his tribe, and hasn't had much for outside contact. In fact, where he is now is his test to prove himself to the tribe, which means two years solo- travelling and hunting, so he will soon meet some who cosnider him a vermin for sure.

Will modify though, thanks for the input.

[Maxodis]

Although I'm not an admin, nor do I have any authoritative sway, I'm going to add my input. Feel free to ignore me, unless of course either Tir or Skipp agree and tell you otherwise.

I somewhat agree with Skipp on having his age match up with his strengths and weaknesses somewhat. While yes, you could make him significantly older, I personally would think it more interesting to keep him young and add more flaws. Sixteen (year) olds are generally painfully naive, and tend to think they're invincible. They think bad things happen to others who are not them. You could use that.

He's also been raised to believe what his fathers believe: that all vermin are evil and therefore must be purged, correct? Well again, he is young, and with such an oppressive belief thrust upon him he must not have yet had ample time to consider any other schools of thought. This leaves him vulnerable to doubt, indecision, occasional anxiety? Take your pick, all of which can be dispersed short-term by repeating the mantras that have been drilled into his mind, but build up in his subconscious for a long-term meltdown.

I'm also seeing a few inconsistencies in your timeline. You say he was born on the Southern Isle of Argong, but then go on to say that four years before his birth the isle was overrun and his people were driven out. I may be reading this wrong of course, I make quite a few mistakes after getting home from work and after a 3 hour of sleep night, but anywho: There's also what I suppose you would call his rite of passage, the two (year) thing. He gets sent out when he's sixteen to prove himself for two years. He's halfway done, wouldn't that make him seventeen anyway?

Few other things I'd like to see are:

-Acknowledgement of the previous plot in his history, particularly in accordance to his rite of passage thing. Mossflower wasn't such a happy place, and rogue creatures seeking to "Purge the land" wouldn't exactly fail to notice the concentration of vermin at what was once Fort N'Tashi. Much less the organized patrols that came from within.

-Define how he's supposed to prove how many vermin he's killed. Does he collect ears? Skins? Something more creative than that? Have fun with it.

-Keep in mind that the tribal occupation(if you will) that you're proposing is rather new. They've only been in Mossflower for the past twenty (years), and then from a place far to the south that I'm going to assume was peaceful enough that there wasn't too much conflict. Coming from an environment and war like that to the almost militarized territory that was Mossflower twenty years ago must have taught them to learn the more brutal side of combat rather quickly to ensure their survival, sure. But you have to keep in mind that there is ability and then there is experience.

-Ability vs. Experience: Your character seems to have a fair amount of the former and a limited amount of the latter. This will come into play very quickly, and you would do well to acknowledge it, because we will call you out for using a sixteen (year) old creature like an aged veteran.

-And finally, the little things that he experiences when he's not busy being an overconfident cold avenger. I don't do this part as well so I'll quote Skipp "Does he have friends? Crushes? Does he occasionally slack off? Does he hate push-ups? Running? Does he really like doing something (aside from war?) does he ever have doubts? Does he think for himself..." blah blah blah.

BUT YES. Apologies for the length. That's what I think.

[farrel]

Hah! Stupid me! I clean forgot to put incorporate the previous plot with with my character! Silly me, must fix that.

Well, it's not doen yet but it's better. And my fingers are tired, so I'll work more on it later.

[Treble Tiderunner]

Can I look over it again or are you still editing?